Monthly Archives: April 2012

Cynical in the Pacific North-West!


So, wow. I’m possibly the worst blogger ever. I have one other post from a year and a half ago. Impressive! Obviously a lot had changed since then. First off, I got married! So that was really… interesting. Moving on… Our house was foreclosed on, yay! Actually, I’m not really too beat up over it. That had to have been the worst investment possible. Plus, it gave me the perfect excuse to get the hell out of California, which I’ve been trying to do since I was about two. So, like pioneers on the Oregon Trail (seriously still an awesome game) we packed up what we could in a huge, white, pedophile van along with about a billion animals and headed to Washington State. The land of beautiful greenery and meth labs. I’d say it was a serious upgrade! Ooh, oooh, and!… No mariachi music wakes me up at 8 a.m., ever! Making this my own personal paradise. We actually do really like it here though, I don’t think we will ever go back to California except for the occasional family obligation. We got a cute little place up here that was owned to a glue gun addict, so that’s been full of surprises! But this place is less than a third of our mortgage, so we are stoked to be here. We have 2 bedrooms and a fully fenced yard for a grand total of… ***drum-roll*** $400 a month including trash and water! So yeah, California: go fuck yourself in a $800,000 condo by the beach. I will gladly take a 3 bedroom home on 20+ acres for $120,000 and shove it up your ass. (Yes, that is really what I can get up here.) On another note, I have 2 “jobs” right now, if you can really count them as jobs… I work about 4-7 hours a week at a pizza place and three days a week I watch a 4 year old for about 6-10 hours. I don’t really know what I will be making from the sitting gig since I haven’t been paid yet and she is just going to pay me whatever she can, but I will take what I can get! I really like Rylie, the kid, anyways. The pizza place is cool except for one really sleazy perv named Joe. That is a story for another day though, as my husband just got home, therefore I can’t write without thinking my every thought is being monitored. Not to say that he is like that, but if there is someone around me when I’m writing I always feel like they are looking over my shoulder. Sooooo, next time, let’s talk about Joe and his penchant for under aged girls!

[Update on Joe since I never got back to it: He was a super creepy dude that always had underage girls hanging around work, waiting for him. He’s like, 30, so it was extra sleazy. Last I heard he got his underaged girlfriend pregnant, but then got drunk and beat her, causing her to miscarry. Then he apparently fled to Oregon to hide. Nice guy, huh? Of course he got fired a week after I quit working at Sahara Pizza. Why couldn’t I have been around to see that??]